One of the most difficult tasks in sobriety is to learn how to set boundaries with others. Even if you have the best relationship with someone, telling them how you feel in a way which can make them judge you, criticize you, or possibly loathe you, may keep you from saying what you need to. When you keep inside what you need to communicate, you could be inadvertently causing a rift. The best thing you can do for yourself is to be willing to set a boundary that can emend your situation and strengthen your sobriety.
If you are wishy-washy when you lay down your statement, you may not be taken seriously. On the other hand, if you are too brash with what you are trying to accomplish, you will not get your point across at all. Finding that middle ground by being firm in a kind and loving way will be more effective in preserving a healthy relationship.
Setting a boundary does not mean that you should tear the other person down or point out their flaws. Instead, you should remain constructive and treat them in the exact way you would want to be treated. People are more inclined to make changes when they are motivated rather than defeated.
Being earnest in your ability to set a boundary will go a long way. You may feel emotional having the talk, but you will prove to be authentic in what you are trying to carry out. Your heartfelt boundary will show the other person that you are trying to better the circumstances and they will be more likely to oblige you. Making a positive impact on a possibly uncomfortable situation will heed better results.
This is your chance to say what you need to say, so say what it is on your mind. Holding your thoughts back can come out in negative energy that you could possibly emit onto others. Getting real about the situation which has evolved in your relationship will either make it or break it. After you set the boundary and the relationship does come to end unfortunately, there is probably more going on there than you just setting a boundary.
No one really wants to set boundaries although the action is imperative to instill improvements into your recovery. The practice of continuously setting boundaries will not only make you more comfortable and bolder in your sobriety, but you will become stronger in the belief in yourself.
Pinnacle Recovery gives you and your loved ones a safe, beautiful place to heal, with the knowledge and tools you need to make a full, successful recovery. We specialize in inpatient rehabilitation, trauma recovery, AA programs and AA alternatives, experiential therapy, dual diagnosis, family therapy, co-occurring and dual diagnosis addictions. We also offer a wide range of sober living and intensive outpatient treatment programs. Call 1-866-301-0573 today for more information.