When it comes to relationships, many people dislike boundaries because they are uncomfortable. The easiest way to get a person to like you is to do what they ask and don’t do anything they don’t like. That is not possible, nor is it healthy, when it comes to relationships. Learn how to set healthy boundaries, even if you don’t think you need them.
Put Your Needs First
The hardest thing to learn how to do when setting boundaries is learning to put your needs first. Setting boundaries is not selfish. It is good self-care. We are taking care of ourselves, making sure our individual needs are met, and keeping ourselves authentic. We need to practice this to stay focused on what matters. When we meet our own needs, we find healthier relationships, and enjoy sobriety more.
Choose What is Okay
Boundaries are a personal expression of what we are willing to accept and what we do not accept. They let others know how we want to be treated. We have to be honest and pay attention to our feelings. We can speak up when we need to and find ways of being okay with that. If we are not okay with something, we should not do it.
Bravery When Setting Boundaries
Most people don’t like to disappoint others. This is outside our comfort zone. However, we can remember that setting boundaries is more about saying ‘yes’ to what we need than saying ‘no’ to someone else. We can be brave enough to ask for what we need, trusting our courage will be answered with respect.
Set Boundaries with Compassion
When we need to set a boundary with someone, we can be honest and clear. We can take care of ourselves while considering other people’s feelings. We do not need to be hurtful towards others. We can say no with love and kindness, then move on. Compassion is hard when we are always pleasing others with our actions and words. Standing firm on what does not work for us helps us become better about personal boundary setting and not letting it get the best of us when we are vulnerable and more likely to let our guard down.
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