We’ve all seen the magnets stuck to the back of cars that read “Kindness Matters!” But, we’ve also all been warned when online “Don’t read the comments!” How can these things coexist in the world? The majority of people would agree that urging others to be kind is the way to go; however, the comment section is often regarded as the cesspool of humanity. Where is the gap and why does it exist? These questions may never be answered. What can be answered, however, is how do we deal with those who are rude to us and others?
We are often urged to “Be the change you want to see in the world.” When met with rudeness, we can react by being that much kinder to the person. This isn’t meant in a snarky way. The world would be so much better off if we were all a bit kinder to everyone we meet. Many people, especially those dealing with mental health issues, suffer from overthinking. You may read into a situation far beyond what was intended. This is why Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is so popular amongst those dealing with mental illnesses. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, a therapist aims to help the client restructure their thoughts about a particular situation. When someone is rude to you, your first thought may be that you have done something to upset them to the point where you are deserving of their wrath. Dr. Christine Porath, associate professor at Georgetown University’s McDonough School of Business, agrees, telling Real Simple that “We look to others are mirrors of our own value. So when people act rudely toward us, it can make us feel we’re not deserving of respect.” This feeling of unworthiness may lead to negative self-talk. Here’s what you can do when met with rudeness from the world:
Take a deep breath and try to resist engaging with a stranger who is being unnecessarily rude. Remind yourself that their behavior has nothing to do with you. So, don’t take it personally.
Most of the time, someone who is unnecessarily rude to a stranger will not learn when you try to explain your side of the story. Don’t waste your time trying the change their minds. Take a deep breath and resist. It’s important to remind yourself that what they are saying or doing is not a reflection of who you are or what you deserve. Lastly, don’t take it personally. Ignore them and carry on with your day. Don’t let them live rent-free in your head!
Pinnacle Recovery wants to help our clients be kinder to everyone they meet, but also to help teach you about the kindness you should treat yourself with. Call us today at 1-866-301-0573 to learn more about the programs we offer. We can’t wait to hear from you!