Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) focuses on the present moment. Mindfulness can be helpful for individuals with depression, anxiety, a substance use disorder, or even someone without a mental illness! Everyone has mental health to nurture, and practicing mindfulness helps you do that. During mindfulness, you are focused on the present moment — what you are doing, what’s happening, and being fully present. 

One DBT skill is DEARMAN. DEARMAN is an interpersonal effectiveness skill that helps you ask for something from someone else. You can use DEARMAN to solve conflicts, too. Take a look below to find DEARMAN explained.


Be clear and concise when describing the situation. State the facts, without inserting your opinions and feelings. You should be factual when describing the situation because the person you’re communicating with may not be immediately aware of the situation you are trying to discuss.


When expressing how you’re feeling, use “I” statements. “I” statements mean taking accountability for your actions and how you’re feeling, which will lead the other person to not get defensive when you are communicating. You should use “I” statements to help the other person understand where you’re coming from.


Assert your needs effectively by asking directly for what you need in a strong way. You don’t want to be forceful, but you want the other person to know that you are serious about what you are communicating. Try not to allude to the issue, but instead be straightforward. The person you are communicating with is not a mind-reader, so speak directly and assert your needs. 


Reinforce what you are saying by showing the other person that there is something in it for them, too. If the conversation is one-sided, the other person will not be likely to listen to you or do what you are asking. Compromising takes both parties.  

Stay Mindful

Practice mindfulness. Focus on the person and what they are saying and how they are reacting. Try not to get distracted until you have reached a resolution for what you are asking for. You want to stay mindful of the conversation because the other person will be able to notice when you are losing your focus.

Appear Confident

No matter what you really feel like, it’s important to appear confident on the outside. You should appear confident because the other person is more likely to be receptive when they see your confidence. 


Negotiating means being willing to compromise. You shouldn’t be demanding anything when using these skills. A conversation is about reciprocity, give and take. Try not to get overwhelmed by what the other person is saying. Negotiate for what you really want. 

During your stay at Pinnacle Recovery, you are able to use our group therapy sessions to practice your interpersonal effectiveness skills. You can also use the family therapy option, too. Call us today for more information at 1-866-301-0573. We can’t wait to hear from you!